Organized Chaos
by psychicbunny
Summary: Gai and Lee go to Kakashi and Sasuke for some…BEAUTY TIPS! [oneshot]


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.

Summary: Gai and Lee go to Kakashi and Sasuke for some…_BEAUTY TIPS!_ This is a crack! fic. Insanity is king.

* * *

_Organized Chaos_

By psychicbunny, for my friend Sydney who hates Gai and Lee and thinks they should be banished to the ends of the world ("How can you like them! They're so _creepy!_ And they wear spandex!" she shrieks.

Girl, have you _ever_ been to the water parks in China? All the men wear speedos—not a single swimming trunk in sight. You, like, dunk your head down into the water and all you see are spandex swimsuits on men. Do you know how mentally scarred I come back every year?)

* * *

The harsh winds blew across the sandy top of the mountain, picking up a thousand grains of the corrosive beads. Once again, Kakashi and Sasuke were up here training their guts out (literally), with Kakashi trying to stay in shape while Sasuke tried to gain more strength. Teacher and student, both sweating like pigs and vomiting like hell just to out do the other…now wasn't that a moving sight?

"Not bad, Sasuke," Kakashi could be heard panting in to his protégé. "Five chidori in one day by the age of eighteen—you've even surpassed me."

"Aa," Sasuke grunted back wearily, eyeing the massive craters he had created into the mountain top. "Sensei, you don't happen to know the Rasengan by any chance?"

"Why do you ask?" Kakashi huffed out as he leaned against a boulder and thoroughly exhausted from training Sasuke. "Although the Rasengan is a little more powerful than the chidori, it requires an immense time to master. It took Yodaime-sensei four years to grasp."

All of a sudden, Kakashi turned into the bushes as his stomach heaved once more as it now spat bile out of its chambers. A deep moan could be heard coming from him as Sasuke grimaced and clutched his stomach. He wasn't feeling too hot himself.

A quivering Gai stood behind an unscathed dune, his eyes tearing. "How beautiful…what a riveting sight…Kakashi is sharing his techniques to the beautiful youth of Konoha…it seems that he can recognize those in the springtime of their lives…" he commented as his hands shook from replaying the wondrous scene in front of him.

Next to him stood an uneasy Lee. "Gai-sensei, are you sure we should ask them?" he asked skeptically, eyeing Sasuke now as the Uchiha too ran to the bushes.

"Of course!" Gai yelled out, his eyes and teeth shining. "They have legions of women at their fingertips. They are the perfect ones to ask!"

"B-but…they're all sweaty and they're vomiting…I don't see any so-called 'attractive' qualities that women are after for in men in them…" Lee mumbled nervously as he watched yesterday's dinner rush out of Sasuke's mouth.

"They are sweaty and vomiting because they are working hard. That is something that you, my Genius of Hard work, should understand exceptionally well," Gai proclaimed.

Lee's eyes began to tear as well. "Hai, sensei! Well said!" he barked as his arm snapped up into a salute and his face bleared. "Let's go and ask them right now!" he shouted enthusiastically and nearly jumping out from behind the sand formation except Gai caught him.

"We must take them on the element of surprise," Gai dictated to his student. "It will not be to our advantage if we reveal ourselves to soon…"

"Whoever's there, reveal yourself now," Kakashi's strong tenor voice commanded over the wind. "Your intent, which is desirous, is giving you away."

When Gai and Lee hopped out from behind the sand, Kakashi raised both eyebrows. "Gai…Lee…it's good to see you. What are you two doing here?" he asked as curiosity filled him; where they here to spy on his training with Sasuke? No, that couldn't be, since neither could perform ninjutsu or genjutsu.

Gai coughed. "Kakashi, Lee and I are here because we want to ask you and Sasuke-kun…"

"Ask the two of us what?"

"…why women are all over the two of you all the time…" Lee finished for his teacher.

Both Sasuke's and Kakashi's eyebrows shot up into their hair. "I'm not sure if I follow what you two are asking," Kakashi inquired skeptically as huge sweat drops formed on his brow.

Gai coughed again. "What we're asking is why do you two attract so many women? Is it your looks?"

Nodding vigorously, Lee piped in. "Please, help us. Gai-sensei and I decided it is time that the two of us got girlfriends, but for some odd reason, all the women seem to run once they catch sight of us."

"I wonder why," Sasuke asked sarcastically beneath his breath. Luckily, only Kakashi heard him and simply glared at him with his single unveiled eye.

"This is very embarrassing for me, Kakashi, since I am in a small way admitting defeat in an area of competition," Gai hacked out, "but please help Lee and me. What are some things that we can do to attract women?"

"Here's one," Sasuke muttered. "Try acting normal for once."

Kakashi slammed one hand down on Sasuke's head to ruffle his hair, which appeared to be a motion signaling their closeness as student and teacher to Gai and Lee (Gai's eyes once again became teary), but Sasuke knew better. It was Kakashi warning, "You better shut your mouth now or else," as a full glare was now focused on Sasuke.

"What did that boy say?" Gai asked. Kakashi simply smiled and replied, "He said nothing of importance."

Lee jumped in front of his teacher. "Well, what do you say? Will you help the two of us?" he asked desperately with tears welling up in his eyes as his trembling fist was drawn near his chin.

Sasuke looked at Lee with disbelief. _I still can't believe I lost to that huggy-touchy-feely cry-baby six years ago. _

A polite cough could be heard coming from Kakashi as he contemplated his choices. "Gai, Lee, Sasuke and I agree to help you two only on one condition…" he drawled.

"And what would that be?" Gai asked enthusiastically as Lee vigorously nodded his head.

"That you admit I am a_ far_ better shinobi than you."

A huge crash could be heard as Sasuke tripped and fell down face forward. What kind of condition was that! He had expected something more along the line of "That you two will leave us to our training after we help you", but _no_, Kakashi held his ego above everything else.

Then again, he himself also had a large and growing ego. And he would rather die before ever admitting that someone as pathetic as Lee was better than him at fighting.

Gai grimaced for a few seconds, his face contorted in deep pain. "Fine, Kakashi, you are be—"

A huge roar of "NOOO!" erupted, sending birds out of the nearby trees. "No, Gai-sensei, you must not do that!" Lee cried out, tears streaming down his face. "If becoming wanted by women requires you to admit defeat to the Copy Nin Kakashi, you must not do so!"

Gai began crying as he was deeply moved by his student's devotion. "Lee, I must…if I don't, then the two of us will never find ourselves women who will carry on our beauty and youth to the next generation of Konoha! We can not be the last Beautiful Green Beasts of Konoha!" he sobbed while embracing his faithful apprentice.

As Gai and Lee continued hugging and crying, Kakashi and Sasuke watched the scene with pained expressions deeply etched into their faces; never did they expect the male masculinity to stoop as low as _that_. _What happened to those two, in testosterone's name? _heartthrob student and teacher thought simultaneously.

Ten minutes passed by before Gai and Lee could control their sobbing and bonding. When the two finally looked at Kakashi and Sasuke again, they found the other two men thoroughly disturbed. Kakashi was looking up towards the sky with his ears plugged while Sasuke covered his eyes with both hands. The two green spandex-donning shinobi blinked at the Sharingan masters, whom in ten seconds realized their companions had finished with their bonding.

Kakashi gave a nervous cough since he was not quite sure as to what he had gotten himself into. "Why don't we meet at your apartment in ten minutes, Gai?"

Sasuke shuddered. Gai's apartment…? He wasn't quite sure if he ever wanted to see that place.

Both Gai and Lee struck their good-guy poses and smiled their blinding white teeth. "Sure thing…see you two there."

With a huge wind, the two disappeared. Sasuke heaved a sigh of relief before turning towards his teacher. "Please tell me I don't have to go there as well."

Kakashi gave him an incredulous look. "And have me go there all by myself? That ain't happening, kiddo. You're coming with me," he ordered before he roughly grabbed a defiant and flailing Sasuke. In a whirl of leaves, the two disappeared as well from the sandy mountain top.

* * *

Forty minutes later, a familiar twirl of leaves appeared before a very impatient Gai and a nerve-stricken Lee. "Yo," Kakashi called out while holding a chakra-string-bound-with-duct-tape-over-his-mouth-to-muffle-his-screams Sasuke. "Sorry it took so long…we had some complications."

Gai and Lee eyed Sasuke in all his chakra-string bound glory. "We could tell there was some….difficulties."

With his one visible eye crinkling, Kakashi suggested in a happy voice, "Why don't we take a look in your apartment and see what we can do to help?"

A muffled scream of protest came from Sasuke, but Kakashi muffled it even further with a hand on his student's mouth. He smiled; Sasuke glared death beams at his teacher and towards the two Beautiful Green Beasts of Konoha, and the two taijutsu masters simply flashed their good guy poses at the two men.

Sasuke did his best to cry for help underneath Gai's doorway, but no one heard him.

Except God, of course. And may we pray the Lord was with him.

* * *

Sasuke glared and wished Death to come upon all the people that were under the same roof as he was especially to the silver-haired nin. No, even death was not enough. Only if Kakashi was tortured, mutilated, humiliated, and then killed would Sasuke's thirst for revenge be sated.

Rubbing his wrists while seated on the blinding green couch, Sasuke continued to glare at everyone within a ten foot vicinity of him. Meanwhile, Kakashi was taking a look around Gai's family/living room which included the bookshelves.

"Taijutsu 101?" he inquired wonderingly as he drew the book slightly out of place as he read the title. Sliding it back into its little niche, he rattled off the titles one by one, his eyebrows receding further and further up towards his hairline with each name. "'Taijutsu for Dummies'; 'A Beginner's Guide to Taijutsu'; 'All the Taijutsu Techniques in the World'; 'Bloodline Abilities in Taijutsu'…Jesus Christ Gai, is all you read about on _taijutsu!_"

Gai cocked his head. "Then what else am I suppose to read?"

Kakashi giggled inappropriately. "Let me introduce you to the best novel series in the world," he began while drawing out that all too-familiar orange cover.

Pausing in mid-massage for his ankles, Sasuke's eyes widened to the size of saucers. With unprecedented speed, he ran out of the apartment while dragging a confused Lee along with him.

Lee shot a questioning look as Sasuke once both boys were outside. "Sasuke-san, may I ask why you dragged the two of us out here?"

Before Sasuke could reply, a long scream of horror arose. "NOOO! _MY VIRGIN EYES_!"

* * *

Fifty minutes later, after Gai had calmed down from his encounter with "Icha-Icha Paradise", the four men were snooping around Gai's bedroom and bathroom.

Sasuke gulped as he readied himself for any metal-scarring occurrence that had not happened yet. He was going to be alright; he was the last Uchiha, and nothing in the world could scare an Uchiha. He had defeated both Orochimaru and that stupid bastard brother of his, and he hadn't been scared when he faced them. The Uchiha Clan was a strong and noble clan, far better than the Hyuuga Clan. The Uchiha were great warriors, and nothing fazed them. If all that failed, he could always pray to his ancestors and the Radish God to protect him from anything unsightly that was going to happen.

Sasuke took several deep breaths. _Aw, hell…screw all of that._

He then did something so courageous that we should all applaud, since no one else had the guts to do it; no, not even Naruto would do something like this, and would happily admit defeat to his long time rival over a stunt like this.

Sasuke had flung open the doors to Gai's closet.

Craning his neck, Kakashi took a peek inside the closet and blew a low whistle. "Jesus…all you wear is green spandex suits."

Rummaging through the dozen or so outfits, Sasuke frowned as he pulled out a black suit. "Well, here's a suit for formal occasions…"

"…that is also made of spandex…" Kakashi finished as he rubbed the fabric between his thumb and index finger. "It looks like we need to take you two shopping for some _real_ clothes."

Both Gai and Lee frowned. "Real clothes? What do you mean by that?" they asked simultaneously.

"Those are real clothes," Lee stated. "If we don't wear that, how can we be the Beautiful Green Beasts of Konoha?"

Both Sasuke and Kakashi gulped as sweat formed on their brows. "Ummm…..why don't we check the bathroom now, sensei?" Sasuke asked weakly.

"Sure thing," Kakashi replied, a nauseous look coming onto his face. "Since you opened the closet, I'll open the bathroom."

The prodigy and ex-prodigy stood in front of the bathroom, once again mentally readying themselves for anything hideous that would cause mental damage for the rest of their lives. Kakashi began turning the doorknob, but paused as he took deep breaths while telling himself to calm down. _There can't be anything too bad in there…_

Sasuke was on the edge, and his nerves became even more frayed with each passing second. "Just open the damn door, sensei," he half-snarled, though his face was pale and anxious.

Gai and Lee watched from across the room. "Why aren't they opening the door, Gai-sensei?" Lee whispered. "There isn't anything scary in there, right?"

Shrugging, Gai replied, "Not to me, but those two are strange. Did you see their faces when they opened my closet?" he whispered back.

Lee nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, yes….and there was nothing scary in there either."

Blowing out a deep breath, Kakashi muttered to Sasuke, "Okay…ready? One…two…THREE!"

He twisted the doorknob and flicked on the bathroom lights. When their eyes finally adjusted to the bright lights, what the two saw would cause their jaws to drop.

Next to the sink was a gallon jar of hair gel and a gallon jar of teeth polishing wax.

Cautiously prodding the jar of hair gel, Kakashi gave another low whistle. "Those two really don't have any lives, now do they…?"

"Probably not," Sasuke replied moodily while unscrewing the top to the teeth polishing wax before taking a sniff of it. Immediately, his face contorted into pain. "That smells horrible."

Kakashi giggled. "Can you imagine using that for your entire life ever since you were twelve?"

Sasuke grimaced and shuddered. _Bad mental image, bad mental image…_he reiterated to himself as he opened the mirror directly above the sink, though he was not thinking about what he was doing.

"Hey, isn't that where women usually put their make-up and medicine?" Kakashi asked curiously before the contents of medicine cabinet caused his eyes to bug out.

When Sasuke finally realized what was in there, his eyes too popped out. The two remained there, frozen in their eye-popped, jaw-dropped states for at least a good five minutes.

Kakashi gingerly picked up a long, hard stick. "Black eyeliner…?" he asked feebly as that familiar nauseous feeling overcame him.

"White colored foundation and concealer…" Sasuke mumbled as he picked the two small jars up gingerly. "They draw their eyes in…"

"And their mouths, as well as their eyebrows…" Kakashi gasped. "God, and I didn't notice that, even after all these years…"

The two men continued their disturbing investigation on their recent discovery, not believing their eyes.

Placing the pencil back into place, Kakashi gave a lengthy sigh. "It might be a tab bit difficult to persuade them to give up this stuff and to change their habits…"

"But we have to do it eventually."

"Exactly," Kakashi noted while his one visible eye drooped even further than normal. "Well, shall we get to it?"

Sasuke counted to five before taking a deep breath and exhaling. "Better now than never."

The two men marched out the bathroom, bracing themselves for the reaction of Gai and Lee when they broke the bad news to the two unfortunate taijutsu masters.

"_WHAT!_ FIRST WE HAVE TO GIVE UP OUR SUITS, AND NOW WE HAVE TO GIVE UP OUR _HAIR GEL,_ _TEETH POLISHING WAX, AND MAKE-UP!"_

"GAI-SENSEI, I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO HAVE THEM HELP US!THEY'RE TRYING TO DESTROY THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEASTS OF KONOHA!"

* * *

It was three in the afternoon before the four men even hit the clothing stores in Konoha. Apparently, Gai and Lee hadn't taken the news too well. Not only did they have to burn their spandex suits, but they also had to throw out their hair gel, teeth polishing wax, and make-up. It took the two over an hour to finally agree that doing such was necessary, and it took them an additional couple hours to bid their beloved belonging farewell.

Sasuke turned to Kakashi again as the two waited for Gai and Lee to come out of the dressing rooms. "Kakashi-sensei, why did you even agree to this?"

Kakashi shrugged as he continued reading his novel. "Well, think of it as this way: we're making Konoha a better and safer place to live through making those two normal. You don't know how often Gai use to terrorize the playgrounds, looking for the next 'Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha'."

Sasuke shuddered. So _that_ was the man who had attacked him using a green thing in his hand when he was five.

A muffled call of "We're ready!" reached the two heartthrobs' ears.

"Then come on out!" Kakashi replied, his eye still glued to his reading material.

When the two came out of the dressing room, Kakashi dropped his book.

Can you guess what they chose as their new outfit?

"Oh God," Kakashi muttered wide-eyed as he took in their new outfits. "You do realize the point of bringing you two here was for you two to get new, more fashionable clothing right?"

Gai placed his hands on his hips. "What's wrong with this?" he asked, somewhat offended.

"Well, let's see," Sasuke began sarcastically, "they're green, and they're tight."

"But they're not made out of spandex," Lee pointed out.

Both Sasuke and Kakashi sighed simultaneously. "Here, try these on," Sasuke called out as he tossed shirts and pants to the two green beasts.

Catching the clothing, Gai and Lee faced each other before shrugging and heading back to the dressing rooms.

Five minutes later, the duo came out with grimaces on their faces. "Do you really expect us to wear _this!"_ Lee asked in a disgusted tone.

Kakashi looked up from his novel. "If you want to be a chick magnet, yes, I do expect you to wear that. What's wrong with it?"

Gai pinched at the new clothing he was wearing. "Well, it's baggy and it's _black_! Not _green_!" he exclaimed.

Sasuke massaged his forehead. "That is the point…it is supposed to be black and baggier than what you two are use to wearing…"

"Why, Sasuke-san?"

"Because that is what women find attractive."

Snapping his book close, Kakashi turned towards the cash register. "Time for you two to buy that. Besides, Sasuke and I still have much to teach you."

The two bowl-haired men sighed as they drew out their wallets and paid for their new clothing. It was either wear this or wear the same thing everyday since all their other clothing was gone.

* * *

Kakashi and Sasuke stared at the other two men while they flashed their Good Guy poses. "You do realize that women don't find those poses attractive, right…?"

"Why?" Gai asked Kakashi, a note of interest marring his voice. "Lee-kun and I find them very sexy."

Nearly puking at that comment, Sasuke managed to regain his composure before reiterating the objective of the lesson. "Women like it when men are mysterious, brooding, and have a slightly slouching pose while sticking their hands in their pockets."

"Just like how women like men with messy hair," Lee noted. "Right, Sasuke-san?"

"Right," Sasuke muttered, embarrassed that he was teaching someone tips on beauty. Wasn't this supposed to be Sakura or that pig-faced girl's job? "Or if it is neat, it needs to be naturally neat without using hair gel."

"And if it is neat, it should be either long hair or extremely short hair, like a buzz-cut," Gai finished.

"Good. Looks like we finally drilled that into your heads," Kakashi commented offhandedly as he sat on the couch, reading his novel. If you two keep in mind what we have taught you, you should be fine."

"This is the pose, right Sasuke-san?" Lee asked while going into a pose much like Sasuke's.

"Right."

Gai imitated Lee. "So this is how I'm supposed to stand and walk?"

"Yes…"

He blew a sigh. "This is going to be hard getting use to…" he sighed as he reminisced about the "good old days" where he still had his spandex.

"And remember, don't be enthusiastic about anything. Show no emotions," Kakashi added while closing his book. "You know, we probably should take the new you around town tomorrow, just to see if the ladies approve."

Sasuke nodded. "That would be a good idea."

* * *

An irritated Sakura dragged Naruto through the streets of Konoha while she held a picnic basket in her other hand. _Where is that other pervert and his damn 'I can't go on a date with you Sakura because I'm too good for you' protégé_, she thought angrily. _I told them a week ago, two days ago, and yesterday via e-mail that we were having a picnic today._

A battered Naruto whined as Sakura dragged him by his collar. "Sakura, can you drag me a little more gently? If you keep on going like this, you're going to permanently damage my fishing rod," he moaned.

"And do I care about your stupid fish? NO," she screamed at him while she continued her search for the two missing men. Naruto whimpered, but made no further complaints.

She finally spotted the two men in question. "SASUKE-KUN, KAKASHI-sem…pai…" she began to scream, but it quickly died when she noticed they weren't alone.

Two very handsome men with dark messy hair were with her former teacher and crush. And by gods, they were gorgeous and…

Sakura spun around, blushing furiously. OH MY GOD! THEY ARE SOOOOOO HOT! Inner Sakura screamed.

_I KNOW THAT! I'M NOT BLIND, YOU KNOW!_

GOD, THAT YOUNGER ONE'S EVEN BETTER THAN SASUKE. OH MY GOD, HE'S SMILING AT YOU!

_HE IS!_

YES!

Sakura spun back around and greeted the four men. "Ohayo, Kakashi-sempai, Sasuke-kun, and…um…." she stuttered, at a loss for words as she blushed furiously while greeting the two new men. Adverting her eyes to the ground for she did not want for them to see her red cheeks, she stumbled for a greeting. "Um….hi?" she squeaked out when she finally managed to look at the two irresistible men in front of her.

"Ohayo, Sakura-san," the younger one replied.

_Huh…? 'Sakura-san?' The only person who calls me that is…is…_

"Lee-san?" she gasped out. "Is that you?"

An unperceivable nod came from the once bushy-eye browed man. "Hai, it is me, Sakura-san."

Sakura blushed, and she turned to the older man. "And this is…?"

"…Gai-sensei," Lee finished for her. "Kakashi-san and Sasuke-san were kind enough to help us with our makeovers."

Blushing for the millionth time, Sakura gave a pretty smile. "Ano…would you two like to join Kakashi-sempai, Naruto, and Sasuke-kun in our picnic?"

"We would love to, Sakura-chan," Gai replied while giving her a gentle smile that showed none of his teeth. "But is there enough for an extra two?"

Waving her hands in front of her, Sakura smiled embarrassedly. "I always make a lot of extras, so there is definitely enough for the six of us."

Naruto suddenly pranced in between her and Lee, which surprised her and caused her to nearly lose her balance. "Naruto no baka! Watch where you're going!"

Naruto stared up into Lee's face with concern. "Is that you, Thick-brows?"

Sakura's face turned tomato red as she punched Naruto in the head, sending him face-first into the ground. "Please forgive him, Lee-kun…he's an idiot."

"It's all right," Lee replied with a small smile. "Now, why don't we get to the picnic?"

As Sakura laughed and looped her arm through Lee's arm, Sasuke frowned as he watched the two walk away with three other men on their tails. He thought about something Sakura had just said.

_She said 'Lee-kun', not 'Lee-san'. _

_Jesus. _

_That freak's on the same level as I am._

* * *

The mop of yellow hair and the mop of midnight-blue hair both crouched at the edge of the stream, fishing for additional lunch as Lee and Sakura flirted underneath the cherry blossom tree. Kakashi and Gai were off somewhere after getting into another one of their "I'm better than you are" fights.

It was Naruto who first piped up. "Looks like Sakura-chan and Lee are getting very comfy there, ne?"

"Hn." _Shut up, dobe…_

"That's good for them both. Lee's a good guy, and he's been after Sakura for so many years; besides, she deserves a guy like him who will pay attention to her and love her no matter what."

"Aa." _SHUT UP, DOBE…_

"Huh? Is something wrong, Sasuke-chan?" Naruto asked. When Sasuke reacted to the insult with silence and not his usual war-cry and kunai, Naruto peered into his best friend's face.

He saw something that left him very, very disturbed and scarred for the rest of his life.

Sasuke was blushing and his eyes were glazed over like a love-sick puppy's.

Naruto nearly fell into the stream. "You don't like Sakura-chan, do you Sasuke?" he whispered in a tight and high-pitched voice.

Sasuke's blush deepened.

With a loud "Kerplunk!" Naruto fell into the stream.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she rubbed Naruto's hair in the towel to dry it. "Geez Naruto…is your balance so bad that you can't even stop yourself from falling into a small stream?"

"But Sakura-chan, you would also fall into that stream if you found out if Sasuke liked y—OWWWW!"

Sakura raised an eyebrow as she shooed Sasuke's elbow away from Naruto's ribs. "Sasuke likes 'Yow'? And what was that for Sasuke?" she asked first of Naruto, then of Sasuke.

Sasuke glared death beams at Naruto, warning his teammate not to tell their pink-haired friend of his latest discovery. "Umm, well…" Naruto stumbled, blubbering incoherent phrases. "Sasuke likes…um….yummy foods!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes! Like tomatoes!" Naruto exclaimed. "And I'm sure he didn't mean to elbow me…I'm sure it was just an accident."

"Uh huh."

"Really!" Naruto exclaimed brightly. "And oh shit, I was supposed to meet up with Hinata-chan. See you three later!" he finished before dashing off.

Sasuke hit his head with his palm. _That idiot…_

Sakura blinked owlishly. "Um…Isn't Hinata's house the opposite direction of where Naruto's going right now?"

Lee nodded. "But he'll figure out that he's going the wrong direction eventually."

Sighing only momentarily, Sakura drew up a happy smile as she placed food out onto the blanket. "Why don't we eat lunch?" she asked brightly.

Beaming, Lee replied with an encouraging reply. "Sure thing, Sakura-chan!"

Munching on his tomato-covered lettuce morosely, Sasuke frowned again as Lee and Sakura once again happily flirted.

_They're flirting._

_He's calling her Sakura-chan, and she's calling him Lee-kun._

_Damn. _

* * *

Three weeks had now passed since Gai and Lee's grand makeover, and they had taken the ladies of Konoha by storm. They could now brag that their fan clubs were larger than any other male's in Konoha. They could brag that they had the hottest women hanging off their arms.

And Lee could now brag that Sakura was his girlfriend.

Once again, Sasuke and Naruto were fishing again, discussing the fore mentioned topic. Lee and Sakura…Sakura and Lee…the two were the hottest item in Konoha now.

"Why didn't you tell Sakura you liked her?" Naruto bugged Sasuke, poking his best friend. "Huh? Huh? Why didn't you ask her out before the freak of nature did?"

"Shut up, dobe."

"Why didn't you? And why didn't you tell me you had the hots for Sakura for a year now?"

"SHUT UP, Naruto…"

"You know, if she and Lee get any more serious, you're going to seriously regret ignoring her…"

Sasuke clenched his teeth.

"I hope you have a plan to get her back."

"DON'T WORRY, I DO HAVE A PLAN. NOW SHUT UP."

Naruto whistled. "Sheesh, alright…touchy topic for you, eh?"

* * *

Sitting up in his bed, Lee yawned and stretched his arms. It was another beautiful and glorious day for him to show Konoha it was his springtime of youth.

Slowly shuffling his feet to his closet, he flung open the door, and what he saw in there caused his eyes to widen. It was suppose to be all black, but…

…but…

_There was one green spandex suit right in front of him._

Lee stumbled back and grabbed onto a chair for support. _No… I must not go back there._

He dashed into his bathroom, only to see a gallon jar of hair gel and a gallon jar of teeth polishing wax next to the sink.

_I must…resist…the urge…_

He opened the medicine cabinet.

And there was the white foundation, concealer, and black eye liner.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

A forlorn Sakura stumbled onto the red bridge, her face teary and in shock. As usual, Sasuke was the first to notice that something was wrong, but he did not mention anything.

Thirty minutes later, it finally occurred to Naruto that something was wrong with Sakura. "Sakura-chan…is something wrong?" he asked, deeply concerned for his female teammate's well-being.

"Lee…he…he…"

"He what?" Naruto asked, his ears perking up at the mention of "Thick Brows".

"…he went back to his normal self…"

"Normal self?" Naruto asked, not quite understanding Sakura's mumbling.

"He's gone back to the green spandex…the leg warmers…the furry eyebrows….and the 'Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha'…"

With that, Sakura collapsed on the bridge.

As Naruto grabbed hold of Sakura before she hit the bridge and gently laid her onto the wood, he turned to Sasuke. "You weren't responsible for his sudden change back by any chance, were you?" he asked suspiciously while fanning Sakura's face.

A miniscule evil smirk implanted itself onto Sasuke's face. "Maybe, dobe. Maybe."


End file.
